My favorite forgiveness book is John-Roger’s Forgiveness: The Key to the Kingdom. John-Roger says we don’t forgive another; we forgive ourselves for a skewed perspective on the situation. His bottom line is that we need to forgive ourselves for forgetting that we’re divine.”
Collin Tipping’s work on Radical Forgiveness speaks to me as well. His work also points to a needed perspective shift and he’s designed a process that facilitates that shift.
When I started writing this post, I didn’t write about books. I wrote about my twenty-year-old step son Zac and how beautifully loving and forgiving my husband Tom has been to Zac. It has been a difficult relationship and there has been a lot of hurt. Tom’s hurt I’m much more aware of because I’ve witnessed it up close and personal.
As I wrote about Zac’s transgressions and Tom’s forgiveness, I found my energy dissipating. That energy drain indicated that although I admire Tom’s unconditional love and total forgiveness of his son, there is still a part of me that isn’t perceiving the situation clearly.
I can still see the look on Tom’s face after a particularly ugly phone conversation with Zac. Tom looked like someone had punched him in the stomach. In the early years (Zac’s been in my life since he was seven), I tried to mediate. I finally realized my role is to support Tom.
When I found my energy heading for the hills during my initial writing, I became aware of previously unrecognized pockets of unforgiveness. It’s time to pull out my fav forgiveness book and to do Colin Tipping’s radical forgiveness process.
I’m grateful for the awareness that I have work to do in this area and look forward to the freedom that comes with letting go.
What have you learned about the power and process of forgiveness?